Thursday, April 30, 2009

Coming Back To School?

As of right now I have no idea what I'm doing with school. I personally don't think I'm in the right mindset to be attending college. I have no motivation to do anything right now. All I want to do is work, which I can't do right because I'm at school. It's difficult for me to understand that I have to put effort into school because this essentially determines the rest of my life. When I was younger I never thought that I'd live to see the age of 18, only because I couldn't picture it in my head (yes I was a morbid child). The same is going on right now. I can't picture myself getting all A's in school, getting my own house, paying all my bills, and having a job that I will go to every day for the rest of my life. I'm not really prepared to see that happen quite yet.

Since I don't know what I'm doing I think that it would be best for me to go to North Shore Community College because I think that my mother is wasting her money keeping me at Salem State. I'd be more than happy to pay a lot less for classes at NSCC to get all of the English, Math, ect out of the way so I can focus on my major of Psychology at a later point in time. So I can put all of my effort into what I really want to do. I've always wanted to help people out in the line of work I chose because I don't think anything else is really worth it. I've always had an interest in people who need help, or are damaged in some way (shows through past friendships, believe me).

Right now I feel like I need to get a full time job and take the next year off of school so I can get some perspective as well as get some motivation to do well in school. I do work over the summer at Safety Insurance 40 hours a week but I also asked my boss to keep his eye open for any full time positions after the summer. I'd love to work there for a year and save up some money before I go back to school full time. Also, after working for a year full time I think that I will want to go back to school more just so I won't have to be working. A lot of people say not to take a year off because you'll never want to go back. The exact opposite is going to happen with me. I don't like my life to be going in the same direction for too long, I like new things. I'll be so eager to go back to school after a year of working that I think I will do amazing in school. Right now I am just kind of lost and don't know where to start, which is why I'm having such a hard time in school. I guess we'll see what happens.

American Idol

There are only a few weeks left in the craze that is "American Idol." Unfortunately, since this show started many years ago I have been an addict. Since watching this show I personally believe that only a few worth buying artists have come out of it, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, & Chris Daughtry (who now has a band named "Daughtry"). Now, it is a true fact that whoever wins obviously isn't going to automatically go into mainstream music, they go off in their own direction. Which is probably why many people haven't heard from winners such as Taylor Hicks recently. This season, I believe, has many possibilities for a winner and out of the top 5, I think they will all end up getting a record deal.

Since the beginning of this season, there was a lot of talent that was brought to the table, more than any other season before it. The top 5 now I could see every contestant being crowned "Our American Idol." I'd like to focus on just a few of my favorites to not drag this out as long as it could be dragged out. First is Allison. Allison just turned 17 and has talent that I would never expect in a 17 year old. She is so young and has a lot of road ahead of her to pave and I thinks she will be very successful in the future. (I did try to find a video of one of her performances but I think that Idol requesting that they be taken down from YouTube because all of them seem to be removed.)

The other person I wanted to talk about was Adam Lambert. I have been a huge fan of Adam's since day 1. Not just because he is absolutely amazing at singing but I feel that he has more to offer than a lot of the other contestants. He is one of the first openly gay men to be on American Idol, and I don't think it is effecting his votes at all. There are numerous pictures online of him kissing other boys, being in musicals, dressing up in drag, ect. The fact of the matter is, the boy can sing and that is what this competition is about. I think he could be a very good example for a lot of young boys across America who are struggling with their sexuality. Also, those who are "homophobic" might take a good look at Adam and say, "I don't have to agree with his lifestyle but I can respect him as a person." The video I chose for Adam is from a few weeks ago. I almost fell off my chair when I heard he was going to be singing "Mad World" because it is definitely on my top 10 favorite songs ever. And frankly, I like his version better. Hah :] I do not own this video.

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It is definitely true that I love Adam but I'm not particularly sure that I would want him to win the "American Idol title." A few seasons ago when Chris Daughtry was on, I wanted him to win. When he got voted off I literally cried. But then I realized that he was much better off NOT winning. What I've noticed (especially with Kelly Clarkson) is that the winners of Idol are contracted with the American Idol record label. Anything that they want to do on their record they need to have approved by the label. Something that might make the label look bad, they won't allow. I feel that Adam is a lot like Chris in the matter of being unique. Adam would be better off under a different contract with a lot of creative input. So yes, it would be nice to see him win and I would like it, but I think he would be better off with a different label, and I feel that he won't have a problem finding one.

Allison and Adam are the two I chose to cover in this particular blog post but like I said before I believe that all of the top 5 contestants are very talented in their own way and have proven to ME that they are very worthy of winning. It's all in the votes I suppose.